cooldragonboy4000:

i just ordered dominos and they gave me this

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so i was like what the fuck and complained (literally how do u even eat this? tell me.) and they gave me another pizza and i was so excited to see how like perfectly constructed this next pizza was gonna be because wouldn’t you assume they would care more in order to Satisfy the Customer. well

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i am suing dominos and i hate america 

(via toocooltobehipster)

whatbethsays:

so it was my brother’s thirteenth birthday today and he came home from school with this horror-struck expression on his face and came into my room and sort of just stood there

and i asked him “what’s wrong?”

and he said “MY GIRLFRIEND HUGGED ME AND SAID HAPPY BIRTHDAY”

and i was like “well that’s good isn’t it?”

and then he came closer and just whispered, really quietly “no you don’t understand i said happy birthday BACK”

im still laughing oH FUCK

(via guy)

brokendildo:

never skip leg day

brokendildo:

never skip leg day

(Source: pleatedjeans, via stability)

cyclopette:

lil piggy tippy toes…………

(Source: vine.co, via toocooltobehipster)